


The Secret Inside

by TheOriginalRhi



Series: Pursued by Darkness [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Protective Qui-Gon Jinn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOriginalRhi/pseuds/TheOriginalRhi
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are dispatched to Melida/Daan to help negotiate a peace treaty. Darkness lurks in the shadows and Obi-Wan is suddenly confronted with the blocked events of his childhood. Clouded by his fear, he sees only one solution.
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Pursued by Darkness [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766173
Comments: 9
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> My take on an AU Melida/Daan. This is the third in the Pursued by Darkness series - I would recommend reading Eclipse and The Path Back Home if you haven’t yet.
> 
> Sorry about the delay in getting this one up, it turned out to be a bit longer than I had anticipated!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

Obi-Wan stood one step behind and to the side of Qui-Gon as they waited patiently outside the double full length doors which closed them off from the High Council chambers.

Obi-Wan threaded his hands into opposite sleeves of his cloak so he could somewhat disguise the fidgeting that he was trying so hard to unsuccessfully control. He also had a slight feeling of apprehension lingering in the pit of his stomach. Since being sent away from the Temple to the AgriCorps less than a year prior, a decision which had completely thrown his life upside down and resulted in him being tortured by a fallen Jedi, the Council had continued to make him a little nervous. The combined presence of twelve extremely powerful and experienced Force users didn’t help either.

It had been nine months since he and Qui-Gon had both been reinstated as Jedi. His first six months were spent in a whirlwind of catch up classes, constant study and physical training, and the next three months had consisted of more of the same, but with a couple of minor diplomatic missions to nearby planets to ease them into Jedi working life.

The large Force dampening doors slid soundlessly open in invitation to enter the room. Qui-Gon, followed by Obi-Wan at the appropriately respectful Padawan position, gracefully entered the circular chambers and stopped in the middle of the circle on the patterned floor tiles. Obi-Wan was somewhat relieved to find that only half of the Council were currently present. They bowed low in unison as the large doors slid shut behind them.

“Greetings, Masters.” Qui-Gon said as he straightened up from his bow.

“Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi. A mission for you, we have.” Yoda said.

“Another glorified courier delivery?” Qui-Gon asked mildly.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened momentarily in surprise, Yoda’s ears twitched in what looked amusement, and Mace Windu cleared his throat - but it was impossible to tell whether the stoic Jedi was stifling amusement or expressing displeasure.

“Courier, you are not. Request for Jedi assistance we have received from Melida/Daan.” Yoda replied.

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. It was a well known fact that Melida/Daan had been in conflict for decades with no end in sight.

“Many Jedi have been there over the years, however the Melida and the Daan have been unwilling to compromise, so no resolution has ever been able to take place.” Mace Windu reported.

“What has changed?” Qui-Gon asked.

“From a new faction, the request for assistance came. The Young, they call themselves.” Yoda explained. “To unite the Melida and the Daan, they claim their purpose is. Accept this mission, do you?”

“I do not know if it is a good idea to take a young Padawan into an active war zone.” Qui-Gon commented.

Obi-Wan was surprised at Qui-Gon’s words. As far as he was concerned, he would do whatever the Council asked of him. He suddenly felt Yoda’s eyes on him.

“Your thoughts, we shall hear, young Padawan.” Yoda said.

Obi-Wan felt the rest of the Council member’s eyes turn to him. The effect was unnerving.

“I will do whatever is asked of me.” Obi-Wan replied, hoping that was the right answer.

The Council seemed satisfied. Qui-Gon did not. He knew his Padawan would always do exactly what was asked of him by the Council with no hesitation and little consideration for his own self - something they would need to speak about at some point. But the discussion would keep for later. This was not something to discuss in the Council chambers.

“Will you accept this mission?” Mace asked, repeating Yoda’s question.

“Yes, Master.” Qui-Gon replied.

“Mission specifications and transport details will be sent to you. Departure is first thing tomorrow morning.” Mace said. “May the Force be with you.”

———

The next morning, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan boarded the small starfighter that had been assigned to them and prepared for the three day travel to Melida/Daan. It took a while to navigate their way out of Coruscant due to heavy traffic in the space lanes, but eventually they were travelling through hyperspace towards the small Outer Rim planet.

Obi-Wan had downloaded the history of Melida/Daan onto his datapad prior to leaving and he now sat at the small table next to the equally small galley, reading up on the decades upon decades of ongoing violence.

Qui-Gon walked in from the cockpit and began making tea. He placed a cup in front of Obi-Wan and slid into the bench seat opposite him with his own cup.

Obi-Wan placed the datapad down onto the table with a dull thud, sighed and looked up at his Master. “How can one war continue for so long? Surely by now they’ve forgotten what they were even fighting about in the first place?”

“Hatred is a powerful emotion.” Qui-Gon replied. “Often in situations like this, the warring parties hold onto hatred and blame more tightly than anything else, which fuels the ongoing conflict more than the original cause ever did.”

“What do you make of the new faction - The Young?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Not much is known about them. The request for assistance was a voice recording. The voice did sound like it belonged to a young person, as the name suggests, however there was no further information other than a set of coordinates and rendezvous instructions.” Qui-Gon took a sip of his tea and placed the cup back on the table, tapping his finger against the cup thoughtfully for a moment. “I sense that this won’t be an easy mission, Padawan, I will need you to be alert and mindful.”

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan responded dutifully.

Qui-Gon drained the last of his his cup of tea and rose, placing it in the sanitiser unit in the galley. He placed a large, warm hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “Don’t study too much, Padawan. I’m going to meditate for a while.” He said with a smile before disappearing into the sleeping quarters at the back of the starfighter.

Obi-Wan tapped his finger absently on the table top while he considered his Master’s words. He hadn’t really realised it until Qui-Gon had mentioned his own sense about this mission, but the little feeling of apprehension that had been sitting in the pit of his stomach since the previous day outside the Council chamber had been gradually growing stronger. Frowning, he searched the feeling, but he couldn’t quite seem to get a grasp on the origin.

Obi-Wan mimicked Qui-Gon’s recent movements, draining the last of his tea and putting the cup in the sanitiser before heading towards the back of the starfighter to join his Master for some meditation. Perhaps then he might be able to gain a better understanding over his uneasiness, or at least release his anxiety into the Force.

Obi-Wan settled himself down onto the floor and quickly immersed himself into the smoothly flowing currents of the Force, basking in the lightness surrounding him. Meditation and the Force always felt a little different in hyperspace where there was a distinct lack of living things around them, but he could sense the calm strength of Qui-Gon’s distinct Force signature, which had always grounded him more effectively than anything else.

Fully attuned to the Force now, Obi-Wan turned his focus inwards, meditating on the anxiety he felt about this mission, drawing it out, examining it from all angles, illuminating it in the full lightness of the Force.

Images came to him in flashes.

_ A tall shadowy figure cloaked in black._

_ Glowing amber coloured eyes._

_ A cloaked woman being thrown backwards through the air. The bitter tang of fear and anger thick in the air._

_ The sting of a knife slicing across his palm, accompanied by chanting in a language he did not understand._

_ A woman’s voice speaking: The Darkness calls to you. It is your destiny. You are pursued by the Darkness._

_ He felt emotions wash over him: Fear — Anger — Rage — Pain — Despair._

_ The Force that had been smoothly flowing only moments ago suddenly stirred up into turbulent eddies, splashing violently up against him as the lightness faded. He suddenly found himself adrift at sea, clutching onto a tiny raft that was quickly disintegrating beneath him. The sky was dark and stormy, lightning forking across the heavens with thunder following straight after, rumbling louder than he had ever heard in his life. Torrential rain bucketed down upon him. He tried to gasp for breath but there was too much water everywhere. Panic rose up in him, gripping his whole body in utter terror as he realised he was going to drown._

_ “Obi-Wan!”_

_ The grip of the panic halted briefly at the sound of the familiar voice._

_ “Come back to me, little one.”_

_ Obi-Wan grasped onto the deep voice like a life line._

_ “Yes, Padawan, that’s it. Come back to me.”_

_ The stormy skies gradually gave way to sun as the clouds rolled away. The turbulent water stilled and he found himself transported to a calm pool of deep blue water. It was surrounded by green - trees, plants, moss - all things he closely associated with his Master. A sense of peace washed over him, starting to tamp down on the overwhelming turbulence inside. _

Obi-Wan opened his eyes to find himself back in the sleeping quarters of the starfighter, heart racing and breathing heavily, the concerned blue eyes of Qui-Gon directly in front of him. A large warm hand gripped his shoulder and he felt calming waves flowing through their bond.

“Easy, little one.” Qui-Gon said, reverting to the nickname he had given Obi-Wan back when they had first met on Rekor. He didn’t use it often these days, but it had always had a calming effect on Obi-Wan. “Focus on your breathing. Feel the emotion, then let it move out of you with each breath.”

Obi-Wan concentrated on slowing his breathing and heart rate and releasing the residual tension in his body to the Force. After a few moments, he looked up at Qui-Gon, blue-green eyes now clear and focused.

Qui-Gon nodded approvingly and sat back, crossing his legs gracefully before fixing his apprentice with a curious gaze. “Was that a vision?”

Obi-Wan frowned, considering what he had just seen. “I don’t think so.” He said, comparing it to the brief glimpses of visions he’d had throughout his whole life. “It felt different. More like a...memory. Some of it anyway. But not one that I remember. Then the Force seemed to react to it and threw me into the middle of the ocean in a storm.”

“Would you like to tell me about it?”

Obi-Wan shrugged. “There’s not really much to tell. Just some flashes of images. Some words. I saw a black cloaked woman with amber eyes. I think she might have cut my palm.” Obi-Wan turned over his hand to view the faint scar that crossed his palm that currently throbbed ever so slightly. He had occasionally wondered how he had acquired the scar but as he couldn’t remember, he assumed that it was when he was very young and hadn’t really paid much attention to it.

Qui-Gon grasped Obi-Wan’s hand and inspected the scar. He had known it existed, however had never paid much attention to it before. He brushed his other hand slowly over it before releasing Obi-Wan’s hand and looking back up at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

“What were the words you heard?” Qui-Gon asked carefully.

“I can’t remember exactly but it was something about darkness. Being pursued by darkness, I think.” Obi-Wan replied softly. “Then feelings of fear and anger and despair. I remember those clearly.” He paused for a long moment then asked cautiously. “Master, what do you think that means?”

Qui-Gon’s face remained impassive. “I do not know, Padawan. Perhaps next time we shall meditate together and see if the Force will give us some guidance.”

“I’d like that, thank you, Master.”


	2. Chapter Two

The rest of the journey passed in usual fashion for Jedi on long space flight - meditation, studying, katas designed for keeping bodies active and muscles toned in small spaces, working on fine Force control and the occasional game of Sabacc. And the whole time, Obi-Wan fought against the rising feeling of anxiety and darkness that was constantly present in the pit of his stomach. The strange flashes of memory that he has seen in his meditation returned every night when he slept, becoming more and more intense the closer they came to their destination. He had meditated with Qui-Gon a couple of times but it had not made things any clearer. He didn’t realise how distracted he had become until he jumped when Qui-Gon unexpectedly placed a hand on his shoulder.

Qui-Gon looked at him with concern. “This is not like you, Padawan.” He said. “I had been calling you and you didn’t hear me. Then you nearly hit the ceiling when I touched you.”

Obi-Wan looked down, bowing his head in a submissive posture. “I am sorry, Master. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I just...” He paused, not really knowing how to describe the vague feelings he had been having over the last couple of days. “I just have a bad feeling about this mission.” He finished lamely with a sigh.

Qui-Gon observed his apprentice for a moment, considering the best approach to take. “Obi-Wan, look at me please, I would like to talk to you, not the top of your head.”

Obi-Wan did as requested, troubled grey-blue eyes meeting Qui-Gon’s calm blue ones.

Qui-Gon spoke gently, but the underlying authority in his voice was clear. He needed Obi-Wan to bring his focus into the present. “Do not centre on your anxieties, Padawan. I also have an uncertain sense about this mission, however you cannot dwell on what may come to pass when you need to be able to focus on the moment.”

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan replied dutifully.

“This mission will be a difficult one. We will be entering an active war zone. You will need to be able to focus, listen to what I say and react quickly.” Qui-Gon spoke firmly, trying to impress the importance of his words on his distracted Padawan.

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan said again, trying to be the picture of a perfect, dutiful Padawan.

The firm expression dropped from Qui-Gon’s face and the compassion for his apprentice showed through. “Come now, let’s get something to eat then I think it should be early to sleep for you.”

———

Obi-Wan had a long sleep blessedly free of disturbing images - visions - memories - whatever they may be. He suspected that Qui-Gon may have had something to do with that and he wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or frustrated.

He sat up and looked around the small sleeping quarters. The sleep couch across the room was empty, but his Master’s lingering Force signature told Obi-Wan that Qui-Gon had been there recently.

Obi-Wan slipped out of bed and stretched before padding barefoot through the ship to the cockpit. Qui-Gon sat in one of the high backed pilot’s chairs, leaning forwards to read the navigation screen. He turned and greeted Obi-Wan with a smile as he entered the cockpit.

“I trust you slept well, Padawan.” Qui-Gon commented.

Obi-Wan slipped into the other seat, crossing his legs comfortably in the large chair. “Yes, Master. Much better, thank you.”

“I’m pleased to hear that. Estimated arrival is in two hours.” Qui-Gon fixed him with a contemplating gaze. “Are you ready for this?”

Obi-Wan nodded firmly. The apprehension and  _ bad feeling _ were still present, but having had a decent sleep made it a little easier to bear.

The two hours passed quickly and they were soon descending through the atmosphere of Melida/Daan. Qui-Gon had relinquished the controls of the starfighter and Obi-Wan was currently carefully guiding the starfighter across the terrain, hugging the ground as closely as he dared, narrowly darting around rocks and scrub as they searched for a place to land. Qui-Gon’s plan was to land the craft in an isolated area where it would not be stolen, destroyed or scavenged for parts and then they would walk to their rendezvous point on the outskirts of the capital city of Zehava.

“There.” Qui-Gon said, pointing to a small canyon up ahead.

“I see it.” Obi-Wan confirmed, cutting his speed slightly as he approached the tight space. He carefully manoeuvred the starfighter into the small space and ran it through the shut down procedures. While he was performing the checks, Qui-Gon had retrieved their survival packs and they exited the craft, concealing it as well as they could with leafy branches.

The walk to Zehava was an uneventful hour’s journey, however both Jedi remained constantly on alert, watching, listening and extending their senses through the Force to ascertain any danger as they got nearer and nearer to the city.

Obi-Wan followed closely in his Master’s footsteps, determined to remain focused despite the intense sense of darkness he sensed all around him. It was hardly surprising though, given that the planet had been in various states of conflict for centuries. That much prolonged hatred seeped so deeply into the ground itself and became ingrained in the culture, tainting people’s emotions and perceptions for generations, even after fighting has ceased. It was a near impossible job to cease war that had been ongoing for many generations. Obi-Wan didn’t hold much hope that the people of Melida/Daan were ready to move on, but he also knew that he was apprenticed to one of the Jedi Order’s greatest negotiators and he was keen to see his Master in action.

Qui-Gon came to a sudden halt and it was only Obi-Wan’s quick reflexes that allowed him to stop before he walked right into his Master.

“Take cover!” Qui-Gon urged as he made a Force-enhanced leap behind an outcropping of rocks.

Obi-Wan followed a split second behind, narrowly missing a blaster bolt that sailed past his neck so closely he could feel the heat on his skin.

Qui-Gon glanced at his Padawan quickly to check for injury.

“I’m ok.” Obi-Wan responded. “What now?”

Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon reach out with the Force, getting the lay of his surroundings. Their assailants continued to fire at them, the blaster bolts hitting the other side of the rocks.

“I can sense five people just beyond the wall.” Qui-Gon reported. He unclipped his lightsaber. “Deflect the bolts. Aim to deflect or disarm rather than injure if you can.”

Obi-Wan nodded, unclipping his own lightsaber and feeling the familiar reassuring weight in his hand.

They both ignited their lightsabers simultaneously and stood, stepping out from opposite sides of the rocks. Their sabers flashed and whirled as they deflected the red blaster bolts harmlessly away into the atmosphere.

Then suddenly, Qui-Gon was on the move, Obi-Wan following closely behind as they both continued to deflect the blaster fire, darting across the scarred landscape, taking cover behind rocks, wreckages of various ground vehicles and air crafts, and down into the deep gouges in the ground left by multiple bombings.

They were close to the wall now. Obi-Wan ran past the mangled wreckage of a starfighter, using the Force to enable him to leap high over a large hunk of twisted durasteel, deflecting two blaster bolts in midair. As he was coming down out of the leap, the Force shouted a warning. But it was too late. As he landed on the ground, it crumbled, giving way beneath him. Obi-Wan fell down a duracrete vent, hitting his arm, then scraping his leg on the rough side, before landing hard on his back, knocking the air out of him. His lightsaber hilt hit the ground next to him a moment later. He lay stunned for a moment but came to his senses quickly and forced himself to take a breath in. He rolled to his feet, calling his lightsaber to his hand and igniting it, assessing his surroundings and any imminent danger.

_ Obi-Wan!  _ Qui-Gon’s concerned voice filled Obi-Wan’s mind.

 _I’m ok, Master_.  Obi-Wan replied.  _I think I may have found our way in_. 

Obi-Wan walked a little further down the tunnel, his lightsaber casting a blue glow over the walls. The tunnel stretched far into the distance beyond the illumination of his lightsaber and he belatedly noticed that the air smelled rather unpleasant. He looked down at his feet and grimaced when he realised that he was standing in a shallow pool of stagnant water. He decided that he did not want to know what purpose this tunnel used to serve and was suddenly thankful that he had landed on a relatively dry spot.

A soft noise behind him made Obi-Wan twist around on the spot, raising his lightsaber in a defensive position, but he quickly lowered it when he recognised the familiar form of Qui-Gon.

“Sewers. Good find, Padawan.” Qui-Gon commented as he strode past, his feet kicking up splashes of the foul-smelling water, not even bothering to make any pretence at being silent with all the noise that was going on above ground. He ignited his own lightsaber and the tunnel ahead became illuminated with an intermingled blue and green glow.

Obi-Wan fell into step beside Qui-Gon, foregoing the typical Padawan one-step-behind-and-to-the-side position in an effort to avoid the splashing. “Thanks, Master.” He replied wryly. “I was trying to avoid thinking about what was in the water.”

Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon’s amusement through their bond. “You’ve chosen the wrong Master then, Padawan mine. This is nowhere near the worst muck I have found myself in.”

“Ugh. So what you’re saying is to make sure I always pack extra clothing and plenty of cleanser.”

“Something like that.” Qui-Gon replied as they approached a fork in the tunnel. He paused only for a moment before heading down the right side.

They continued down the tunnel for a while longer before they came to a four-way junction. They paused while Qui-Gon considered their next direction. While he was doing this, Obi-Wan glanced down the tunnel to his left and caught a glimpse of movement. He swung his lightsaber around to cast light down the tunnel, which revealed a slight figure standing in the middle of the tunnel. It was impossible to tell if it was a boy or girl as a hood was obscuring their features. Their tattered clothes and visible skin was covered in grime.

“Follow me.” The figure said before turning and walking into the darkness, not waiting to see if the two Jedi would follow.

Qui-Gon nodded at Obi-Wan and they followed after the person. It was clear that they were very familiar with the tunnels as they never slowed their pace, nor paused at any of the intersections.

It wasn’t long before they were climbing a ladder taking them up out of the tunnels and into what looked to be an old treatment plant. They followed their guide through to a large room which had been emptied apart from a few rickety tables and stools, and there was a pile of blankets and sleep mats in the corner. There were a number of grimy, bedraggled children of varying ages milling around the room and a group of equally dishevelled teenagers gathered around one of the tables, talking intently.

“I found them.” Their guide stated as they drew closer to the table. They folded their hood back, revealing a crop of short red hair and some distinctly feminine features. Obi-Wan thought that she looked to be of a similar age to himself.

The group looked up and one of the boys stepped forward. He was a little older than the girl, tall with dark hair and wore battered armour. “Welcome, Jedi. We are the Young. I am Nield and this is Cerasi. We are the leaders.” He indicated to the girl who had brought them through the tunnels, then swept his hand around, indicating towards the other teenagers around this table. “This is our council.”

“I am Qui-Gon Jinn and this is my Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Qui-Gon introduced as both Jedi made small polite bows. “I understand that you have requested Jedi assistance.”

Nield nodded then motioned towards two of the Young, both of whom immediately rose from their seats at the table. “Take a seat and I shall tell you the convoluted history of Melida/Daan.”

Once Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had sat, Nield launched into the history, detailing the centuries old war - of which no one alive could actually remember what actually started it all off - and the ongoing need for revenge by both the Melida and the Daan, both sides convinced that the other side was completely responsible for the dire state their planet was in. There had been multiple attempts at ceasefires and Nield described a period of a few years of their childhoods where they lived in relative peace, but ultimately, the peace never lasted and the slightest disagreement would send the planet spiralling down into war again.

Cerasi then spoke of how she stumbled upon the sewers, subsequently meeting Nield and together forming the Young - bringing the Melida and the Daan into unity for a better future. They had created quite a network - with many smaller groups of the Young scattered throughout what was left of major cities, as well as a few further out into the countryside. They had not been immune to the cost of war and had lost many members - through fighting, illness, compulsory conscription to either sides armies or to the factories producing armaments, but they constantly had new members joining, even some of the younger adults coming around to their way of thinking.

“We are supposedly currently in a ceasefire to give everyone the chance to commemorate those that have been lost.” Nield said, a sardonic tone colouring his words. “But all they do is remember how they died, vowing to avenge their deaths and to wipe out all the filthy Melida or to annihilate the despicable Daan. It is about time that the memorials were torn down and we moved on.” His tone changed to one more passionate. “We - the Young - have a vision for our planet. We are not so naive to think that everyone will be able to live in peace and move on like nothing happened, but if the children of Melida/Daan can compromise and co-exist alongside each other, then why can’t the adults?”

Obi-Wan could feel himself being moved as he listened to the charismatic teen’s eloquent and passionate words and had to sternly remind himself that he should not take sides. He surreptitiously glanced at his Master, but Qui-Gon’s face did not betray any emotion, nor did he get the impression of any feelings over the bond. Quickly releasing his emotions to the Force, Obi-Wan took a moment to re-centre himself before attending to the conversation once again. He felt a small wave of approval from Qui-Gon, who must have noticed his momentary lapse and subsequent correction.

“Long-standing war and hatred can act powerfully on a planet and its people.” Qui-Gon explained. “Sometimes it can be hard to move on, despite there being strong motivation to do so. What is it that you would like Jedi assistance for?”

“The leaders of the Melida and Daan won’t listen to us because they say we are only children and therefore we apparently don’t know anything. Yet they consider us old enough to go to war for them.” Nield said, frustrated. “We have tried to speak with them multiple times, but I have run out of ideas of how to get through to them. They might listen better to you.” He added with a slight tone of resentment.

“We will assist in whatever way we can.” Qui-Gon replied. “I admire your dedication but you need to realise that it takes more than one willing party to end a war.”

Nield nodded sharply but did not say anything further on the matter, changing the subject instead. “It’s nearly time for late meal. Feel free to have a look around here or in the tunnels, but don’t wander too far, I wouldn’t want you to get lost. And don’t go outside, it’s not safe.”

Nield strode off and taking their cue from their leader, the rest of the teenagers gathered around the table gradually dispersed, leaving Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sitting there alone.

“Thoughts, Padawan?” Qui-Gon asked, voice lowered so that their conversation wouldn’t carry.

“I think their goal is admirable and their motives are pure, but I don’t think they understand how difficult this process will be.” Obi-Wan replied.

Qui-Gon nodded in agreement. “I think you are correct. I also sense that they will have difficulty trusting me. Their experiences of adults are mainly negative. You may have to gain their trust on our behalf.”

Obi-Wan nodded seriously. “Yes, Master, I will do my best.”

“I know you will, Padawan.” Qui-Gon replied. “Just be aware of your emotions, it can be easy to get swept up in a cause such as this.”


	3. Chapter 3

Late meal was basic and it was clear to see that the Young had very little food to go around. Cerasi explained that sometimes they were able to intercept shipments coming in from the food production plants in the smaller towns, but there was a planet-wide shortage of food. So much of the arable land had been destroyed beyond use and what was able to be farmed was extremely limited. A few months ago, one of the Melida food production plants had been attacked and destroyed by the Daan, provoking a retaliatory attack on one of the Daan facilities, even further limiting the planet’s production capacity.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan politely ate small portions of the meal the Young provided then unwrapped a few of their own ration bars, breaking them up and sharing them among the hungriest looking children. The bars weren’t the most appealing fare, but they were nutritionally complete, and the children devoured the bars hungrily.

“Thank you.” Cerasi said after the satisfied children had dispersed. “I don’t know what we will do when we run out. We already eat as minimally as possible at the moment.” She stopped and shook her head. “But that’s not your problem.” She added quickly. “I’ll show you to where you can sleep. We all tend to go to sleep early to conserve power.”

While they had been talking, the children had worked together to efficiently clear away the tables and a series of sleep mats set up across the room. Children were claiming various mats - some of the younger ones doubling up to share their space as there were not enough to go around. A couple of the teenagers were going around the children, covering them with blankets and settling them to sleep. Cerasi led the two Jedi through the maze of sleep mats and blankets to the last of a series of alcoves off the main room. It was already made up with two sleep mats and a neatly folded blanket placed on top of each mat.

“It’s not much, I’m sorry.” Cerasi apologised, seeming slightly embarrassed.

“It will do just fine.” Qui-Gon assured her. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

Cerasi bid them goodnight and headed off towards one of the younger children who was calling out for her.

“Care to join me in meditation?” Qui-Gon offered.

The busyness of the day had been sufficient enough to distract Obi-Wan from the feeling of darkness that had been lurking in the background, but now that there was nothing else to do, the feeling abruptly returned to the forefront of his awareness with a sickening lurch of his stomach. Perhaps meditation would help to centre him.

“I’d like that please, Master.”

They settled down opposite each other, cross-legged on their sleeping mats.

Qui-Gon held up a hand towards Obi-Wan, palm outwards, with a questioning look on his face. They often meditated with palms touching when Obi-Wan needed a little extra grounding. Given the darkness deeply permeating everything on the planet and the difficulty he had been having with meditation and sleep recently, Obi-Wan gladly accepted Qui-Gon’s offer.

Qui-Gon sank quickly and easily into a light meditation and Obi-Wan followed his lead, seeking the calm strength that he so strongly associated with his Master. The currents of the Force flowed around them, surrounding them with light. They basked together for a while, enjoying the reconnection with the light, before pulling slightly away from each other in order to delve deeper into meditation.

As Obi-Wan sank further into his meditation, he felt the familiar mental heaviness of an oncoming vision.

_ Lightning flashed across the sky, briefly illuminating the small room. _

_ He tried to move but found that he was bound at his wrists and ankles and secured to a stone wall behind him. _

_ An overwhelming sense of Darkness surrounded him, chilling him to the bone. _

_ Something was moving in the shadows. A flash of red. _

_ Torrential rain hammered on the old, half rusted roof, splashing directly onto his head, dripping down his face and the back of his neck. _

_ He shivered - an amalgamation of cold and fear. _

_ Lightning flashed again. _

_ Thunder rumbled across the sky. _

_ Red moved in the shadows. _

_ An unfamiliar voice speaking: “You have the Darkness within.” _

The vision faded and Obi-Wan quickly pulled himself out of his meditation, breathing heavily. Qui-Gon was still immersed in his own meditation and he was pleased that he hadn’t interrupted his Master’s meditation this time around. He tightened his shields instinctively. He’d been having visions for the majority of his life and had worked fairly extensively with Yoda throughout his childhood around his visions, yet he still had very little understanding of what he saw and why the Force chose to show him these things. And being told that the future is always in motion really didn’t help much at all.

His visions had always tended to be centred around darkness, so this one was nothing out of the ordinary in terms of content, except that it was a lot more specific than what he was used to. He often saw flashes of events, a few words here and there, or a general impression or feeling. Maybe it was because of the influence of the darkness on this planet, but this one had been one of the most detailed visions he could remember having.

What did disturb him, however, was how he was increasingly being told in his dreams and visions that the darkness was within him. Previously there had just been a general sense of darkness, but now the darkness was centring around him. Being somewhat of a traditionalist, Obi-Wan was typically very black and white with his interpretation of the Jedi code. Darkness was unequivocally wrong. Not to be messed with or even entertained. Being apprenticed to Qui-Gon - whose interpretation of the code was far more liberal - was helping him to look beyond the black and white more often, although he tended to still revert back to his traditional stance as a default. However, the Dark side was one area in which Qui-Gon was very traditionalist in. Obi-Wan was sure this was linked back to his Master’s experiences with his former Padawan, Xanatos. This was the whole reason why he was very reluctant to share these recent developments with Qui-Gon. He didn’t want to be kicked out of the Jedi for being Dark, but even worse, he didn’t want to lose his Master.

Oblivious to Obi-Wan’s inner turmoil, Qui-Gon remained in meditation. Obi-Wan sighed and lay down on his back, pulled the thin blanket up underneath his chin and fell asleep.

———

_ Obi-Wan dreamed that he was in a large high ceilinged room somewhat reminiscent of one of the older rooms of the Temple. But there were no doors or windows, nor any furniture beside one box in the centre of the room. _

_ He felt inexplicably drawn to the box and his feet started moving forwards seemingly of their own accord. He didn’t know if he could stop himself even if he could. _

_ The box seemed to vibrate with Dark energy, rattling the unlocked clasp on the front loudly. _

_ His feet stopped him right in front of the box. His hands reached towards the lid, lifting the clasp. _

_ He opened the box. _

_ Thick tendrils of darkness rushed out of the box, creating an angry black cloud as they twisted and writhed high in the air above. _

_ He watched, frozen in place as the tendrils organised themselves, turning and rushing towards him, circling hungrily for a moment before coalescing together and diving at his chest. _

_ It felt like he had been hit by a speeder. The impact threw him off his feet and he landed flat on his back, skidding backwards slightly on the smooth marble floor. _

_ Then the memories hit. _

_He was four years old. Before he had been found by the Jedi._

_ A black cloaked figure stood in front of him, evil yellow eyes glowing terrifyingly. A miasma of darkness flowed around her, greedily reaching out for him. _

_ “You are pursued by Darkness.” She had told him with a sickening smile. “The Darkness calls to you. It is attracted to you. I sense a lot of darkness in your future.” _

_ It had taken one brush of her hand to trigger a vision. He had seen lava, fire and sparks, felt the intense heat rising to burn at his cheeks and smelled the noxious gases, which had made his eyes water and him feel faint. _

_ “Join me. It is your destiny.” _

_ “No!” His four-year-old self shouted. _

_ He remembered vividly the feelings of terror and anger. It let him do things he hadn’t realised he could do. He could feel the raw power flowing through him, so much so that it overflowed, causing rocks and debris to levitate and swirl wildly around. It was almost too much for his small body to cope with. He was trembling violently. He desperately needed an outlet for the overwhelming emotion. _

_ The tendrils of Darkness rushed towards him. _

_ “Nooo!” _

_ He threw out his hands in front of him to fend off the Darkness. All the rage and terror in his small body rushed out through his hands, throwing the Dark woman away. She collapsed on the ground and he ran away. _

_..... _

_ “My child of Darkness awakens.” _

_ It had only taken a moment to remember that his father had sold him to the Dark woman - Shayda he remembered her name to be. _

_ She had given him some kind of drug and sliced across the palm of his hand, chanting words that he did not recognise. _

_ He had fallen asleep and had visions of Darkness. His four-year-old self hadn’t known how to interpret the images but he now recognised the blue, green and red clashing lights as lightsabers. Every other image was still vague and unrecognisable but the Darkness and intense feelings of fear, anger and despair were overwhelming. Pain and death were predominant and he was hit with the sensations over and over again. _

_ The dream had culminated in a vision which he had repeatedly had as a child prior to being Found. He walked barefoot through a dimly lit tunnel, the only sounds the eerily echoing sound of drips from the ceiling. _

_ Ahead of him was darkness - in sight and in sense - the roiling and churning oily miasma, very clearly signalling danger. _

_ His feet continued to carry him forwards. At the end of the tunnel was a cavern. It was completely dark and the oppressive weight crushed his chest, leaving him struggling to breathe. _

_ Suddenly, the cavern was bathed in a red glow and he could make out a black cloaked figure in the centre, standing in a battle ready position that he did not recognise, holding a red lightsaber angled across the front of its body. _

_ The figure’s head was bowed but it slowly lifted its head. Its face was shrouded with a black hood, shadowing its facial features, all except for a pair of terrifying glowing yellow eyes. _

_ The figure raised a hand and pushed its hood back. _

_ It was his own face looking back at him. _

_ He had woken then, gasping for breath, startled with the realisation that the Dark shrouded figure had been himself. _

_ Shayda’s last words to him had been ominous. “Darkness surrounds you. It seeks you. It will be drawn to you and you will be drawn to it. Darkness is your destiny. There is no need to be afraid of it. All you need to do is reach out and it will answer you.” _

_..... _

_ The last vision had been more specific. He hadn’t recognised it as a four-year-old, but he did now. _

_ He stood alone at the bottom of the long set of stairs leading to the entrance to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. As he looked up towards the centre spire, he noticed the blue sky beyond begin to rapidly turn darker, despite the fact that there were no clouds in the sky and the sun was at its peak, shining brightly on the city planet. _

_ Suddenly he became aware of millions of tiny dark tendrils racing across the sky from all around the horizon towards the apex right above him, weaving themselves into an intricate pattern reminiscent of Sestrian’s finest, sheerest textiles, until the whole sky was covered by the translucent darkness. _

_ He shivered, a chill running up his spine as dread settled into the pit of his stomach, and a heavy oppressive weight laid upon his shoulders. _

_ He heard whispering voices. They were quiet and unclear to begin with but they gradually became more distinct, repeating the phrases over and over again. _

_ Pursued by Darkness - Surrounded by Darkness - Pain - Death - Destiny. _

_ The voices began overlapping, words merging together, getting louder and louder before suddenly stopping. _

_ In the sky, the dark shroud shimmered for a moment before blinking away like nothing had ever happened. _

_ After he had awakened from this dream vision, he had met Yoda for the first time. Yoda had soothed him and offered to help him to forget the dreams, to which four-year-old Obi-Wan had agreed readily, then fallen into a blissfully dreamless sleep. _

_ The next day he had left for the Jedi Temple. _

_..... _

_ The rush of memory finally subsided and he pushed himself up into sitting from where he had fallen flat on his back, stunned at what he had gone through - what had been hidden from him for so long. _

_ There was a new part to himself that he wasn’t aware of before. Not only the memories, but also a little shadowy spot that was pulsing in his mind. He suddenly noticed that the scar on his hand was also painfully pulsing in time with the shadow. He didn’t know what Shayda had done to him, but whatever it was, it was Dark. _

_ Which meant he was Dark. _

_ The visions were right. The Darkness is within him. _

_ How could he continue to be a Jedi if there is Darkness within him? _

_ What a hypocrite he would be. _

_ There were so many cautionary tales of Darkness. Fallen Jedi. Sith. Fear - Anger - Hate - Suffering. _

_ He was so afraid. _

_ He would lose Qui-Gon. He would lose the Jedi. Everything he had ever known. Marched out of the Temple by the Temple Guard like a criminal. His friends would pretend not to know him. The Initiates would whisper among themselves, telling stories about the Fallen Padawan. The Knights and Masters would shake their heads and the Council would censure Qui-Gon for being responsible for driving two Padawans to the Darkness. _

_ That’s if he wasn’t incarcerated, left to rot in one of the prisons designed for Force-sensitives, where strong Force suppressors would be forced upon him, causing suffering for the rest of his life. _

_ “You must not allow this.” _

_ Obi-Wan startled at the sudden voice. He looked around and saw a black cloaked figure materialise at the end of the room. It stalked towards him. _

_ “Who are you?” Obi-Wan asked as he scrambled to his feet. _

_ The figure reached up and pushed the hood obscuring it’s face back. Obi-Wan’s eyes widened as he recognised his own face - all the features exactly as he saw each time he looked in the mirror, except for a pair of cold yellow eyes. _

_ “Why do you look like me?” Obi-Wan demanded. _

_ “Because I am you.” Obi-Wan’s Dark counterpart said, chuckling maliciously. _

_ “That can’t be...I would never let that happen.” Obi-Wan replied, his attempt to sound strong failing as his voice wavered slightly. _

_ “You say that now, but you have not yet seen the true power of the Dark side - you have not yet even seem a glimpse of it.” _

_ “I would still never willingly succumb to the Dark.” Obi-Wan replied, voice firmer this time. _

_ “You do not always have a choice.” _

_ Obi-Wan wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard a hint of regret in the Other’s voice. _

_ “You must leave. You know what they will do if they find out your secret.” _

_ “But where should I go?” Obi-Wan asked, suddenly feeling so very lost. _

_ “Anywhere but here.” The Other said, before fading away. _

_ Alone again, big tears full of sorrow suddenly rolled down Obi-Wan’s face. He left them for a moment, allowing himself a brief time to grieve, then dried his eyes, resolving to move on and never look back. _


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah so sorry I haven’t updated in a couple of weeks, life has just been quite crazy!

When Obi-Wan awoke, his eyes were wet. He swiped a hand across his eyes, wiping away the tears as he contemplated what he should do. The Darkness really was inside him, the memories that had been revealed to him showed him just that.

He was a fraud. A hypocrite. How could he speak against Darkness when it was living inside him? He could still feel that shadowy spot inside his head and it scared and revolted him.

He had to make a decision quickly. Qui-Gon would be awakening soon and he did not want to burden his Master with this. He did not want to become another Xanatos to his Master who had already been through so much.

Obi-Wan decided to leave. It wasn’t really an ideal place to do so considering the whole planet was an active war zone, but a stray thought flitted across his mind that perhaps he would accidentally get himself killed. That would solve the problem completely.

He tightened his shields and looked over at his Master, still sleeping peacefully on the sleep mat opposite his. He felt a pang of guilt and regret. If he was going to leave, he had to go now, before Qui-Gon awoke. Better that than to chance betraying him just like Xanatos had done. If he had Darkness within him, then betrayal was just one small step away. He could not bear the thought of putting his Master through that again.

As silently as he could, Obi-Wan rose from his sleep mat. He grasped his survival pack. He decided that he would take that with him. It felt a little like stealing, but surely the Jedi would not begrudge him the means for survival.

He knew that he should leave a message, some kind of explanation for his Master. He removed the datapad from the pack and quickly scribbled a short message on the screen.

_ The memories returned. _

_ The Darkness is in me. _

_ Talk to Master Yoda. _

_ I’m sorry, Master. _

_ Don’t look for me. _

Obi-Wan placed the datapad on top of his sleep mat where it would be easy for Qui-Gon to notice.

There was only one more thing to take care of.

Swallowing heavily, Obi-Wan placed his lightsaber down next to the datapad. Symbolic of his official resignation from the Jedi.

A tear slid down his cheek before he angrily swiped it away, telling himself sternly that it was exactly what he deserved.

He silently picked up his boots and his outer cloak, then moving as quietly as he could, he padded barefoot into the main room.

As initiates they played a version of hide-and-seek, which involved concealing their presence in the Force. As they got older, their instructors built upon the skills to teach them how to move around unnoticed, a type of Force illusion technique. It was harder to achieve around Force-sensitive beings and took a lot of practice and Force ability to achieve. To the non-Force-sensitive, if he was seen, he would immediately be forgotten, viewed as no more significant than a single blade of grass among many.

He projected this illusion as he moved barefoot and silent through the main room, just in case any of the children happened to be awake. He also managed to completely avoid notice by the Young on night watch and very quickly found himself standing at an exit, the dim pre-dawn light faintly illuminating the half destroyed city beyond.

He paused and tugged on his boots before wrapping himself in his outer cloak and shouldering his survival pack. He stepped out onto the cracked and crumbled duracrete beyond the doorway.

He did not look back.

———

Qui-Gon awoke to the sound of children’s voices happily chattering faintly among themselves. He turned over to find Obi-Wan’s sleep mat empty. He frowned, wondering where his Padawan had got to. It was unusual for his teenaged Padawan to wake before him, although there was the odd occasion where his apprentice had been woken by one of his disturbing dreams or visions. He wondered if this might be the case this morning considering that Obi-Wan had been struggling with them recently. Even Qui-Gon’s dreams had been of the more disturbing nature that night, likely influenced by the Darkness borne from hatred that this planet was steeped in.

His frown deepened when he noticed Obi-Wan’s lightsaber neatly placed on the sleep mat. It wasn’t like him to leave his lightsaber behind - like most Jedi, he constantly wore it attached to his belt. A moment later, he noticed that Obi-Wan’s survival pack was missing and his datapad was on the sleep mat next to the lightsaber.

With a rush of concern, Qui-Gon quickly sat up, calling the datapad to his outstretched hand. It hit his palm with a dull thud and he activated the screen. His heart sank as he read the words written on the screen in his Padawan’s script.

_ The memories returned. _

_ The Darkness is in me. _

_ Talk to Master Yoda. _

_ I’m sorry, Master. _

_ Don’t look for me. _

Qui-Gon reached out for their bond, but found it tightly shielded. He could tell that his Padawan was still alive but that was the extent of what he was able to ascertain. His first instinct was to leap up and run, to search high and low for his Padawan. He knew that Obi-Wan had been struggling with his visions on the way to this mission and they had been weighing him down, causing him to lose sleep. That, combined with the surrounding Darkness on this planet, caused Qui-Gon to doubt that his normally level-headed and diligent Padawan would be making the most sensible decisions in that state of being.

Qui-Gon regretted not listening to his instincts in the Council chamber when they told him that this would not be a good mission for his Padawan at this point in time. But his traditionalist Padawan been determined to do what the Council had asked of them without question. Something he would have to work on with him when he found him.  _ When _ he found him. He refused to think otherwise.

He was concerned that Obi-Wan seemed to think that there was Darkness within him. He had not noticed any warning signs like those that he had been ignorant to with Xanatos - as far as he had seen, his Padawan had always been firmly rooted in the Light and had strong morals. But something had obviously made Obi-Wan feel differently. Enough to make his Padawan feel like he needed to give up his lightsaber and leave. He felt urgency welling up within him. He needed to get to his Padawan and soon.

But there was the mission to think about...his duty as a Jedi. Despite the fact that it realistically had a high chance of failure, the mission had to take precedence. It was his duty, his life’s dedication. He couldn’t just push it aside, despite how closely he skirted the line of  _attachment_ with his relationships.

He was torn between his duty and a boy who was the closest thing he would ever have to a son, who was out somewhere on his own in a war-torn world.

Qui-Gon rose from his sleep mat, venturing out into the main room. He looked around for Cerasi or Nield, the only members of the Young that he had been formally introduced to. He didn’t have to look hard - Cerasi spotted him emerging from the alcove and made her way over to him.

After a quick polite exchange of morning greetings, Qui-Gon asked if she had seen Obi-Wan.

Cerasi looked concerned. “No, and I’ve been up since before dawn. I don’t tend to sleep well.” She replied. “I do hope he hasn’t gone far, it’s not safe for someone who does not know their way around.”

“I hope so as well, but I fear that may not be the case.” Qui-Gon replied, not wanting to divulge too much information just yet. “However, Obi-Wan is well trained in survival and self defence, he should be able to take care of himself.” Qui-Gon wished he had the same confidence in his words as he had just portrayed to Cerasi. Yes, Obi-Wan was well trained, but given what his state of mind must currently be, he was unsure whether his Padawan would utilise his skills if he needed to.

“I hope he returns soon.” Cerasi said. “But if not, Nield and I had planned to show you some important places beyond the tunnels today. We can look for him then, and send out some scouts if need be.”

Qui-Gon nodded his thanks with a slight bowing of his head.

“Come and join us for first meal, then we will leave directly afterwards.”

Qui-Gon would have skipped first meal if it had just been him, but knowing that he needed to work on building trust with the Young, he graciously nodded and followed Cerasi.

———

Obi-Wan managed to make his way through Zehava without any difficulty. There were very few people out at that time of the morning and he managed to avoid them easily, although he maintained the Force illusion just in case.

Now beyond the main city, Obi-Wan walked the across open arid grassland, hardly noticing the chill in the air, nor the brilliant sunrise ahead of him. The only thing he was focusing on was the low grade sense of danger which buzzed in the back of his mind, although it was less here than it had been in the city.

It gave him more time to think.

Half of him was second-guessing his decision to leave, wanting to go back to the comfort of his Master, return to the Temple and figure out what in all the Sith Hells was going on with him. The other half of him was determined that he was doing the right thing, that he did not deserve to be a Jedi and he did not want to betray his Master by Falling.

Obi-Wan pushed all thoughts aside as he continued to walk across the scarred land. There were explosion craters and deep gouges sliced deep into the earth. The landscape was dotted with various debris, crumbling monuments, destroyed farmhouses and abandoned vehicles. Obi-Wan also sensed a few undetonated underground bombs, giving those areas a wide berth.

He walked for hours, the landscape barely changing. He was thirsty but pushed the urge aside as he did not want to waste the limited water he carried in his pack.

The sun peaked and then began lowering in the sky. Obi-Wan realised that he did not know if there were any predatory animals on this planet. He hadn’t seen any so far - in fact it had been exceptionally quiet all day, not even birdsong or insect noises - but that didn’t necessarily mean that there weren’t any predators.

The grasslands slowly gave way to more mountainous terrain, the trees dotted here and there slowly increasing in number as he walked up the gradual slope. The air quickly grew colder as the sky suddenly darkened. The sun had not quite set yet, but when Obi-Wan looked up, he saw dark clouds rapidly rolling across the sky, signalling an impending storm.

The first fat raindrops hit Obi-Wan’s face pleasantly, cooling the flushed and sweaty skin. The rain quickly increased in intensity, the near torrential downpour soaking through his clothing as if it were nothing. Obi-Wan cupped his hands, collecting rainwater and drinking it. He repeated this a few times, quenching his thirst.

He decided to continue walking, ignoring the little voice of self-preservation that suggested he look for shelter. He didn’t much feel like listening to that kind of nonsense at this moment.

Lightning flashed across the sky, hitting the ground not too far from where he was standing. He could feel the heat and smell the scorched ground and the ozone in the air. Thunder crashed so loudly it drowned out the voice which told him to  _ run _ .

When the next bolt of lightning illuminated the sky, Obi-Wan caught sight of a flash of red in his peripheral vision. He twisted around to see what it was, his earlier thoughts of predatory creatures returning to the forefront of his mind.  _ Danger! _ , the voice shouted at him, the sentiment echoed loudly in the Force.

Lightning struck again and this time it was accompanied by a sharp pain blooming on the back of his head. His vision exploded in burst of white stars, then suddenly everything went black.


End file.
